In response to The Price Isn't Right over at Musings of a Scattered Mind, I posted this comment and thought it would be good to re-post it here.

I don’t think there is cynicism in the questions you asked. The bigger question is why did she have to give up anything to chase HIM! Feminism is not mutually exclusive to females. There are many men that understand a woman/girlfriend/wife is more than someone that is on this planet just to server their needs. That love them for who and what they are and what they are passionate about, without condition or fine print.

Is that what a strong confident male wants? Some one that would give up everything she has worked so hard for just so he can support her, who will then spend a future doing something she doesn’t really want as a reward for being with him? So what this movie really said was, he gets to have his dream job and she doesn’t so she can have is children. Zoom and fade in soft light on her weepy eyes and cut. Sounds just like every black and white 40′s romance I have ever seen.

Yes my dear that is cynical of me, but I hope that we all recognize that movies and the real world have nothing in common other than the fact they both have humans in them. Why couldn’t the writers given her a chance to find a better “dream job” where ever he was? Or why couldn’t he have found his dream job where her’s was. Or like mentioned find a better guy where she was. There is no rescue in letting someone else solve your problems for you. Then you just become a dependent and not a partner… and isn’t what we all really want, a life-partner that we care about and they return that care for you.

At the end of the day in the real world, marriage is a partnership, if that is what you take “happily ever after” to mean. Which seems a little lazy on the part of fiction writers as a conclusion to any story and down right delusional for men and women in real life, especially WOMEN! I see it all the time, women thinking/believing it is an either or proposition.

**Spoiler Alert**

No long term marriage is easy or always happy. It is the hardest thing two people can do, what matters is the dedication and self-love they bring to it from day one. Self-love is not selfish, it is I love myself enough to take care of many of my own needs and have enough left over to share with my partner and any future children.

Asheyna almost hit the nail on the head at the beginning of her post, mentioning commercials. This is all advertising for social constructs and traditions and in the end someone is going to make a lot of money from it, most likely a male executive.

I seldom take inspiration for my life from commercial entertainment, I prefer history and non-fiction, most of which don’t have “happily ever after” endings. As far as the princess factor, I will admit I like Belle myself, but I never thought of myself as one and never wanted to be one. If you are looking for real inspiration think; Elenore Duchess of Aquitaine, Queen of France, Queen of England, Crusader on the 2nd Crusade to the Holy-lands, Regent of England for her son Richard I while on the 3rd Crusade, and mother to 6 queens and 3 kings, or the three Tudor Elizabeths, Elizabeth Tudor, mother of Henry Tudor who married Elizabeth Duchess of York, Princess of England to become Henry VII of England and the grandmother and great-grandmother of Elizabeth I of England. I could go on all day listing great inspirational historical women, and not all of them are queens, some are pirates and nuns.

I am a queen, that rules her own life and shares power with those that are worthy, those that are unworthy, off to the tower with them, never to be seen again. It might be well to teach our sisters, brothers, daughters and sons that it is okay to play at being princesses and knights in shining armor, but knights never inherit the kingdom, princesses have no power and cause dragon infestations, there is no King Charming, leaving the only help wanted left in the realm to be “Queen needed, must be a self-reliant self-starter, castle and benefits negotiable, king optional.”

Defining Ones Self Without Limits

I have been struggling with this one lately, how do I define myself without placing myself within limits of boundaries? Or do I even need to or want to do such?

I keep the saying "to myself I must be true and honest." True and honest, do I really like this activity or event because I like it or because my partner likes or it is a family event and everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. Do I know what I like, have I given something an honest open attempt and let it engage me or just be honest and say it holds no appeal for me.

Also there are activities that I continue to do out of habit, because I have so much emotionally invested in my past participation that I find it hard to walk away from them now even though they hold little current interest for me. So when I try to step out into the world to discover new things I sometimes feel anchored by the past who and what I use to be.

I know this is not healthy for me, I can feel the conflict within myself and everyone around me tells me that it is very apparent that I seem to have a lot of conflict going on. One minute I'm happy and making positive choices moving toward my future and other times I seem stuck in emotional mud spinning my wheel, spending a great deal of effort on nothing positive.

Spring and Love

plant your seed of love in a warm sunny spot
care for it, nurture it and never leave it unprotected.
put all your gentle loving effort into making it bloom.
once the roots grow deep and strong you will be rewarded with
the greatest beauty the universe has to offer
remember that nothing blooms forever
when the first blooms loose their luster that is when you must tend to your love with extra effort to insure that your beauty never fades.