In response to The Price Isn't Right over at Musings of a Scattered Mind, I posted this comment and thought it would be good to re-post it here.

I don’t think there is cynicism in the questions you asked. The bigger question is why did she have to give up anything to chase HIM! Feminism is not mutually exclusive to females. There are many men that understand a woman/girlfriend/wife is more than someone that is on this planet just to server their needs. That love them for who and what they are and what they are passionate about, without condition or fine print.

Is that what a strong confident male wants? Some one that would give up everything she has worked so hard for just so he can support her, who will then spend a future doing something she doesn’t really want as a reward for being with him? So what this movie really said was, he gets to have his dream job and she doesn’t so she can have is children. Zoom and fade in soft light on her weepy eyes and cut. Sounds just like every black and white 40′s romance I have ever seen.

Yes my dear that is cynical of me, but I hope that we all recognize that movies and the real world have nothing in common other than the fact they both have humans in them. Why couldn’t the writers given her a chance to find a better “dream job” where ever he was? Or why couldn’t he have found his dream job where her’s was. Or like mentioned find a better guy where she was. There is no rescue in letting someone else solve your problems for you. Then you just become a dependent and not a partner… and isn’t what we all really want, a life-partner that we care about and they return that care for you.

At the end of the day in the real world, marriage is a partnership, if that is what you take “happily ever after” to mean. Which seems a little lazy on the part of fiction writers as a conclusion to any story and down right delusional for men and women in real life, especially WOMEN! I see it all the time, women thinking/believing it is an either or proposition.

**Spoiler Alert**

No long term marriage is easy or always happy. It is the hardest thing two people can do, what matters is the dedication and self-love they bring to it from day one. Self-love is not selfish, it is I love myself enough to take care of many of my own needs and have enough left over to share with my partner and any future children.

Asheyna almost hit the nail on the head at the beginning of her post, mentioning commercials. This is all advertising for social constructs and traditions and in the end someone is going to make a lot of money from it, most likely a male executive.

I seldom take inspiration for my life from commercial entertainment, I prefer history and non-fiction, most of which don’t have “happily ever after” endings. As far as the princess factor, I will admit I like Belle myself, but I never thought of myself as one and never wanted to be one. If you are looking for real inspiration think; Elenore Duchess of Aquitaine, Queen of France, Queen of England, Crusader on the 2nd Crusade to the Holy-lands, Regent of England for her son Richard I while on the 3rd Crusade, and mother to 6 queens and 3 kings, or the three Tudor Elizabeths, Elizabeth Tudor, mother of Henry Tudor who married Elizabeth Duchess of York, Princess of England to become Henry VII of England and the grandmother and great-grandmother of Elizabeth I of England. I could go on all day listing great inspirational historical women, and not all of them are queens, some are pirates and nuns.

I am a queen, that rules her own life and shares power with those that are worthy, those that are unworthy, off to the tower with them, never to be seen again. It might be well to teach our sisters, brothers, daughters and sons that it is okay to play at being princesses and knights in shining armor, but knights never inherit the kingdom, princesses have no power and cause dragon infestations, there is no King Charming, leaving the only help wanted left in the realm to be “Queen needed, must be a self-reliant self-starter, castle and benefits negotiable, king optional.”

Defining Ones Self Without Limits

I have been struggling with this one lately, how do I define myself without placing myself within limits of boundaries? Or do I even need to or want to do such?

I keep the saying "to myself I must be true and honest." True and honest, do I really like this activity or event because I like it or because my partner likes or it is a family event and everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves. Do I know what I like, have I given something an honest open attempt and let it engage me or just be honest and say it holds no appeal for me.

Also there are activities that I continue to do out of habit, because I have so much emotionally invested in my past participation that I find it hard to walk away from them now even though they hold little current interest for me. So when I try to step out into the world to discover new things I sometimes feel anchored by the past who and what I use to be.

I know this is not healthy for me, I can feel the conflict within myself and everyone around me tells me that it is very apparent that I seem to have a lot of conflict going on. One minute I'm happy and making positive choices moving toward my future and other times I seem stuck in emotional mud spinning my wheel, spending a great deal of effort on nothing positive.

Spring and Love

plant your seed of love in a warm sunny spot
care for it, nurture it and never leave it unprotected.
put all your gentle loving effort into making it bloom.
once the roots grow deep and strong you will be rewarded with
the greatest beauty the universe has to offer
remember that nothing blooms forever
when the first blooms loose their luster that is when you must tend to your love with extra effort to insure that your beauty never fades.

Moving Forward

Last friday as I was taking the Harrison Street exit off I-90 and headed across the Flat toward Uptown Butte. I got this overwhelming sense that I belonged in this town. Most other Montanans, Butte residents or anyone that knows anything about Butte Montana will say I'm nuts, but I have heard that more than a few times in my life.

One is always called nuts when you follow your passion. To really live a full and amazing life one needs to follow their passion with reckless abandon. So in the process of be coming one's full complete self and not prove them right by not taking their council. You must to learn to politely listen to "saner" voices and then go do what makes you happy after you have hugged them and thanked them for their wise advice. Yes. I maybe nuts, I can accept that. Yes, moving to Butte might be a crazy thing to do, I can accept that too.

The same muse that calls me to sit down and bang out 10,000 words on the mystical nature of a lost love, also tells me I need to be here. I always thought I needed some where special to find the fodder for my stories, romanic green hills of Ireland, mystical foggy fjords of Norway, red raw earth of southern Utah. No that is not what this writer needs. Those places create in me stories of hearts and flowers. Although I don't mind getting a little romantical at times, I LOVE writing stories that are raw, full of trauma and pain. I don't need the lanes of Irish slums that Frank McCourt wrote about, I will have the Centerville, the Warehouse District, and Uptown Butte. I don't need to see the scarred land of a battlefield, I can look out my window and see the scars of over a century of industry that has left this place and the people as traumatized as any war.

Nothing here is easy, simple or very pretty but in combination this place has a it's own unique splendor. Butte is a place where you can't take anything for granted. Something as simple as going for a walk is not even simple, one must dress warmly, walk fast, be armed with pepper spray and carry a big stick. The pepper spray is for the stray dogs, the stick is to warn humans that you won't be taking any shit today. Followed by the stares you garner from locals as you walk up and down the steep slippery streets is down right comical.

My passion is for writing, I will do what ever it takes to write. Everything else is secondary; college, work, my "bucket list" and other interests. In order to write like I feel I need to, there needs to be a place that allows me to see and experience both the angelic and the profane. Where I can write my dark stories of damaged people and the simple joys in even the most dismal of circumstance. When a writer finds a place that speaks to her, and everyone says that she is nuts for going, than that is exactly where she should be and the thing you should be doing and never look back.

Sorting Threads Out

So why would I be starting up a new blog? Good question, first I feel like I have a number of things to say that don't fit in the subject content of my other blogs.
Secondly, I'm experiencing a number of new things, things that I suspected existed but had never experienced.
So here I sit at my keyboard getting ready to share my thoughts and feelings about a number of subjects and hoping that I can do the complexity of my thought process justice with this simple blog.